


What Happened (That Year)

by Mulletking



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety Attacks, Bang Chan & Lee Felix are Siblings, Bang Chan & Seo Changbin are Best Friends, Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Bang Chan-centric, Coming of Age, Fluff, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insomniac Bang Chan, Minor Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Minor Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Sad Yang Jeongin | I.N, Shy Yang Jeongin | I.N, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24425083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mulletking/pseuds/Mulletking
Summary: Everyone loves Chan
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	What Happened (That Year)

Early mornings in October, cold and dark, always feel oddly comforting in the same way a bad memory is nostalgic. It was gray that month, constantly a drizzling of rain, and the yellow ochre blades of grass froze in the fields at sunrise. The day might reach sixty degrees Fahrenheit, sometimes even seventy, but the mornings were all the same. It must have rained a lot that month. A lot of things happened that month.  


Bang Chan's smile feels like home. Even for someone who's never had a proper home, all of the principles are there; kind, supportive, safe. For someone so softhearted he was undoubtedly human. Maybe it was because his sleeves were always too short, or because he was sensitive when he was tired, or because he admitted that he had fallen into dark places and felt bad feelings. Whatever it was, he thought that the demons inside of everyone were beautiful, and that was worth noting.  


Lost, found, stay. The process of finding friends. Chan is a star boy, head full of dreams and eyes in the sky. When he's stressed he looks up, finds solace in the galaxy, even if it's temporary.  


"Hugs make everything better." Chan likes to say. And Jeongin doesn't like hugs, but he will admit to himself one night how a familiar hug in a big black hoodie might help his thoughts clear away. He looks at the sky too.  


Everyone needs Chan. He's been there for everyone in one way or another. The time Jisung had to go away to that summer camp and in the days before leaving he had constant panic attacks, the time one of Minho's cats got out and Chan spent twelve hours with him searching the city, the day that Seungmin fell out of that stupid tree house and fractured his ankle - and if Chan hadn't been right there he would have had to hobble all the way down the dirt road to get service and call someone. Sometimes it looks like Chan is living in three worlds at once. How he can always be everyone's support is beyond explanation.  


Some would say Chan was the type born from our dreams. You either love him or hate him. Those who love him will never understand how you could hate him, and the people who hate him just don't understand him. He's always listening to music, even if he's not, he is. He's got this funny little habit of laughing between conversation or if he feels awkward. Jeongin thinks sometimes that Chan keeps everything in too much, but that isn't true at all. Changbin once said how he and Chan would stay up some nights just talking about everything. Chan spills his heart out in little doses, a pinch of salt for everyone. It's a two way thing, "You can tell me your worst and I'll share mine."  


But for the most part it was a good year. The best of four, for Chan. He spent a lot of time alone in the past. So much time, in fact, that he forgot how much better life is with friends to share it. Minho helped him not to take things so seriously that year. Changbin made him feel normal and understood. Hyunjin was so sweet and could always relate to Chan over jokes and games. Jisung was perhaps one of the few people Chan could be completely transparent with and when they were together it was never quiet. Felix showed Chan how strong he could be, and although the younger did stupid things and made him worry, he was a real brother. With Seungmin there was never anything to argue, he was a walk in the park and a daisy on a hill. Jeongin appeared that year a bit of a blank canvas, and Chan was determined to paint something beautiful. He would give the whole universe to Jeongin if he could.  


"She was abandoned, see?" Minho had explained to Chan on the day he lost his cat. "But I found her and gave her a home. She was a stray, just like all of us. We're stray kids, and we find homes in each other." Something about that really hit hard. The others had teased Minho about the meltdown he had when he couldn't find his cat. "Don't worry about it," they said. And "She'll be back." But Chan could see how Minho had dropped his heart on the floor, and he knew all too well about losing people. So he was there, and he stayed until they found the cat hiding under a broken cardboard box by a dumpster nearly seven blocks away.  


Changbin says it hurts to be alone. He's not wrong. Sometimes it feels impossible to lean on anyone, even those who are the closest. And when Jeongin starts to feel like nobody would notice if he left, when he worries that he'll always feel alone on the inside, Chan says it.  


"Deep down we'll always be stray kids. It's okay to feel like that sometimes. You have to tell yourself that you're loved, even if you don't believe it." And he gives that smile, the one that means home. "Dance with me."  


Silhouettes floated across the walls that year, and the nights got cold but eventually became warmer. So many times they would all buckle over from laughing so hard, clutching at their sides and eyes tearing up. Countless realizations as the world kept spinning through seasons of thought. Nobody was surprised when Changbin said he thought he was in love, and even though he never brought it up again it didn't matter because anyone could see what he meant. Everyone was surprised when they were saying their goodbyes to Jisung at the train station, and he had cried so hard into Hyunjin's shoulder "stay." That meant a lot of things.  


Chan sleeps from 4 AM to 11 AM, and naps between the hours of 4 and 5 in the evening. He lies on the grass in the yard at night, and sometimes Felix is there, and they look at the curve of the world. It's just twenty minutes, a little break from whatever project he had been so focused on, but it makes everything right.  


"Without you…" Felix might start a thought, but,  


"No. I'm here." Chan says. "I'm here."

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii thanks for reading this! I've been writing for a long time but this is the first time I've ever decided to share something. I hope it's okay and not too confusing :D


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